To the people having a party on the balcony outside my window at 2 fucking a.m.:

You, my friends, are losers. If Carmichael is the only place you have to party, you need to make some friends off the hall. Here's a good way to do so: offer them the copious amounts of alcohol which you surely have at your disposal (if last night's antics are any indication) and then hope they get too drunk to notice how lame you are.

If, for some pitiful reason, you are forced to use the sketchiest moldy dorm north of Craige as your Animal House, at least do the rest of us the courtesy of not subjecting us to it. Having to listen to your shrill giggles and drunken shrieks is not my favorite way of waking up, particularly not when I have gone to bed two hours before and have to wake up five and a half hours hence. Perhaps you are so intelligent that finals don't scare you, but the rest of us actually need to study -- and to sleep beforehand -- so we don't fail out of school and have to rely on Mommy and Daddy's money for the next five years.

In short, shut the fuck up. Why are you getting drunk on a Monday night, on the balcony of Carmichael dorm, when it is 26 degrees outside? Who ever told you that was cool? For all our sakes, please go back to your D&D and your poorly-subtitled anime, and leave the rest of us in peace.

No love,
the girl in 529