Gar R! and Cheese-Haters Unite

This is unbelievable. We are so blacklisting neighbor-man R. Unacceptable.

As you may know, we are having a party tomorrow night. A big, fun one (what other kind of party would we possibly have?) Anyways, months ago, said neighbor obtained a very VERY large stash of condoms. No, your eyes are not deceiving you. By piddling around on the NYC Department of Health website, he found out that schools and some organizations can order free condoms, so he pretended our building was a dorm (Habashy House, how appropriate) to see if they would really send them. And they did. And it was hilarious to see cases of condoms in our hallway. We then decided we would distribute these as party favors at our next shindig, and thus we themed our party simply to correspond with the goods. We of course cleared this idea and the date of the party with R, who was excited also. We then found out he forgot he had to go out of town with crazy Uncle Harvey (who I'm sure will come up in another story v. soon). At any rate, here we are, T-minus 27 hours, and R is nowhere to be found. I finally tricked him by calling him from my office phone, so he wouldn't know it was me (since he wouldn't return any of our phone calls in the past few days) and he was mean about it! He was like, sorry. I have to go. Ah!

So now, here I am at my office on a Friday afternoon, emailing Lauren to see if her brother (who is an RA at The New School) can obtain a large amount of condoms from his health center. And texting Krista to see if she can get them from her grad school. This is so dumb. All because we based our theme on stupid R and his 3,000 stupid goodies.

On another note, I did finally ask hot office guy to the party! And sent him an email with all the details! His dad's in town so I doubt he'll come, but I tried to impart our aura of hospitality towards people of all ages- we have been known to have inter-generational social events. Anyways, it was so easy- I stopped by on my bi-weekly cubicle visit, and he asked me what I was doing this weekend- what a great seguay (segway? what?). As we all know from former office experiences, "what are you doing this weekend" is simply small talk and not neccessarily an indication of any real romantic interesting. Nonetheless, it's a good sign. I'm still holding out for the office holiday party. Don't dash this dream quite yet.

Also, you will love this, are you ready????:
He is a cheese-hating francophile.

This is my destiny, I just know it. Who else, besides the two of us, hates all cheese except moooootzarella? He will only eat the mootz and one version of mac & cheese (we had a very animated discussion about this). I am either getting married or am destined to have my heart broken, and all because I can't find anyone else to hate cheese with.

I have a funny Douglas story. Remind me to tell you (write it) later when my post is not quite so long and ridiculous already.

xoxoxoxoBon