Teleology

1 a : the study of evidences of design in nature
b : a doctrine (as in vitalism) that ends are immanent in nature
c : a doctrine explaining phenomena by final causes
2 : the fact or character attributed to nature or natural processes of being directed toward an end or shaped by a purpose
3 : the use of design or purpose as an explanation of natural phenomena



There is a lot of philosophical, religious and otherwise scholarly debate about the effectiveness of seeing the world and its workings in teleological terms. It is considered only one of many ways to approach life.


So maybe there is no "purpose" to your life or anyone else's. Or maybe it will be revealed only later on, and then everything will fall into place and make sense. And I think you get that it's pointless to sweat it right now.

So don't. Let what happens happen.


You're only 24.


xxxAnnie

I Think "It's" Over (or another nonsensical post about my search for the meaning of life)

I never thought I was that difficult to satisfy (here lies a girl who can happily spend an evening with nothing more than network tv and a takeout container) but it's become increasingly harder for me to find things (and by that I mean jobs, people) that make me want to stick it out.

As I've been pointing out for years, I have these "cycles." Come now, not that kind. I mean, my life seems to go in these cycles, running around and around itself, I guess until it gets tired and begins a new pattern. This is purely subconscious, I think, as I try, pointlessly, to psycho-analyze myself (refusing, as usual, to pay for anything I think I can do on my own). Either I'm full of crap (as I tend to think most of the professionals are anyways) or I'm destined for a made-for-tv rom-com. Whew. Anyhow, the new cycle is this:
-begin new [job, "relationship," etc.]
-envision a lifetime of happiness, coffee meetings, and long walks in the park
-realize this is not going to happen
-and that there are certain things that drive me INSANE about new [job, "relationship," etc]
-have a Zoolander moment and wonder if I will ever find [something, someone] that I will want to hang onto? what is my purpose, AGAIN? [cue Avenue Q soundtrack]

On the bright side, I am realizing (or at least making myself believe) that all the failed potential "relationships" I've had in the past two years, the ones that never made it past a month or two or even the first date or two, are probably blessings- had these guys stuck around long enough, I probably would have been driven nuts eventually and then stressed myself out over whether I should end it or not. Instead, some of these crazy people never stuck around at all, thus sparing me the potential emotional rollercoaster of decision-making.

This might sound depressing. It might sound confusing. Trust me, I'm plenty confused (right now the main question floating around in my scrambled-egg-brain is whether or not I'm even talking about a career or a guy, or both). But, I think the moral of this story is probably the same moral of all the other stories in the past few months, which is God's/fate's/whoever's way of telling me to breathe- envision sitting in AA, saying the Serenity Prayer, and take each day as it comes.

There has been no cheesier advice in the world. There has been no truer advice in the world.

What is my purpose? What is the purpose of life? What is the purpose of this post? I think the answer to all of these questions is: I have no freaking idea. And I probably shouldn't be thinking too much about it, as I have 5 million other things to do. And whether "it's" over or not probably doesn't matter very much when compared to these burning questions, and probably shouldn't. So I won't let it.

xoxoBon

I promised a real post...

...but you're not going to get one, yet. It will come! As a bribe to tide you over so that you don't start thinking I'm a bad sister and replacing me with Peaches, here is a silly picture:



As Will Smith so rightly asked, who's hotta than Madonna in a pointy bra?


xxxAnnie

Where are you, little sis?

????????

I miss you!

On Public Vomiting

Today, while waiting for the subway, I saw a blind woman vomit (she missed her service pup). I didn't know how to feel about this, and I still don't. I would think if one has to vomit, in public, one might be discreet about it or try to find a trashcan. However, I can see how this might be a problem for a blind person. At least it was on the platform, and not someone's shoe, or head (had she leaned over the railing of the elevated line).

I feel kind of bad for being so disgusted. Is that mean?

**UPDATE: So far today, I have seen public vomiting TWICE and almost publicly vomited myself at least once. And there is still a little over an hour left in the day. To make a long story (day) short, the subway platform was not the end of the line for my bout with showy throwup. Noooo, whilst in an elevator with the stroller-ridden tot, I bit into a moth infested granola bar, not thinking that those sneaky pests could worm (UGH) their way through a shrink wrapped package. As usual, my hunger gets the best of me and I end up with a mouthful of either moth eggs or moth crap, take your pick. Just typing this makes me want to vomit again. Suffice it to say I was not able to ralph in the elevator, in front of the doorman, or on the steps of the building with innocent pedestrians watching. Just like the problem with crying, there is NO WHERE in New York City that one can puke in private.

I totally understand the blind woman. Sort of.

After I got done silently screaming and had spit inconspicuously all over some bushes, I carried on and tried not to think of insects, barf, or the two mixing in my mouth. Then, I come home after a 12+ hour day, and as I'm walking up to my damn door, this dude in a car stopping (not stopped, STOPPING- as in the car was still rolling when this happened) opens up his door and leans his fat head out and YES, YOU GOT IT- he regurgitates not 10 feet away from me. WTF! Jesus. What the crap. I mean, what the crap?

I feel like I should have something more interesting and/or less disgusting to say after a month of being a no-show on the blog, but since I just saw you last week and updated you on the good, the bad, and the ugly (and the fun nights of beer drinking with rock bands and shameless photogs), I don't have much else.

xoxoBon
ps- I lectured our little sister. I have no idea how much good it did. Lisa, how much good did it do? I know you'll get wind of this sooner or later and think we're trying to gang up on you so I might as well address you personally now. Don't drink and drive! Don't have sex on prom night! And as for making out with boys: pick one and stick with it! Love you :)