Numero vingt-quatre

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BON BON!!!



I hope you have a fantastic day and I will call you tonight! <33333333333333


xxxAnnie

all it takes is a little faith and a lot of heart

I hope that as you read this, you are enjoying the snow and celebrity of Sundance! Please update with all your goings-on if you ever get a chance to take time out from the star-watching.
I am insanely jealous of what can only be your best adventure yet. Here I sit in my sweatpants and slippers, not working out but instead eating Trader Joe's veggie chips, trying to beef up my resume for submission to all kinds of employers, not wanting to go back out into the freezing drizzle, and you are probably chatting with some celeb-daddy whose kid wants to play with Chess. Sigh. Lucky.

When you are back in Astoria and have some time, call me up! I want to know exactly what is going on with you, miss; and I want to make grand plans and ask your opinion about internships and whatnot. I miss you. If you take pictures of your fun times, I'll trade you for some new music by the Weepies. Whaddaya say?

xxxAnnie

All the Best & Worst Days

This morning I woke up and it was cold, and my eyes were puffy.
So, I put on my warmest boots and some purple eyeshadow.

I do not feel very much better.

I'm not sure if I am legitimately any sort of bipolar (though I often feel like it), but this I know: my life, my actual LIFE, is so bipolar.

Sometimes Life goes, "I'm going to let you run around the subway in your underwear and make friends and go to Brooklyn, and remember why you desperately wanted to move to New York." Also sometimes Life goes,"Hrm, I think today you can have a magically good hair day filled with all sorts of lovely new music, good weather, and laughter. And I'll let your hot new shirt be on sale. For $5.99." Then, the very next day, Life decides that I'll get bad test results and have to have surgery for something I can't remember the name of, something that sounds scary, and the only word I can remember hearing that doctor say is cancer, even though it's not actually cancer (yet). And suddenly, my very bipolar Life goes, "FUCK YOU."

See what I mean? How the hell can I have a relationship with someone who can't decide whether they even like me or not? What do you have to say to that, Life, HUH? If my Life were a person, it would definitely be throwing empty beer bottles at my head right now. Well, Fuck You too, Life. I want to cut you out. I want to make my own decisions. I want to stop being confused and wondering what will come next... brownies? health scare? The new Shins album? Coffee stain? Throw a girl a bone, dammit! Like I am not scared enough at what the hell I'm doing with myself, now I've gotta freakin treck up to some specialist on the godforsaken Upper East Side and hear all about how my body hates me.

On the flip side (when your glass is half full, there's always a flip side... how do you like that pep talk), today is my last day in an office chair, near cubicles, being corporate. And tomorrow I go to Sundance, which will certainly rock. And I am immortalized on the internet in my underwear... ah, finally my ultimate goal is realized.

So, I'll be ok, really I will, cause when Life hands you lemons, you make lemon drop shots, right? Unless you're a little bit hungover, in which case you can use those lemons in your walnut-encrusted salmon recipe or perhaps as a garnish. But I digress. Take that, Life. You are cooking for me now. And I refuse to let you fuck this one up.

xoxoxoxBon

Adventures with Kelly: Episode 2

http://youtube.com/watch?v=XcidD2HFK8M

Be forewarned: there is one lyric that is kind of obscene. Really obscene. But the rest of it is the usual, "betch" and "deck" we all know and love.


xxxAnnie

No pants!

Only one of many! And the whole thing isn't even uploaded yet!


You look pretty cute.


xxxAnnie

I will miss my coworker's funny links

or, "if these [package] designers are making money, so can I"

my last "business" email from Topper:
Maybe you can help these guys out with their design?
http://www.zompist.com/rants06.html#23%23

I think I can.
Although I have serious doubts about SBJ wanting demons on his architectural advertising.

xoxoxoBon

Schmellow is saving my poor, frostbitten ass

Today, on my way into War and Society in 20th Century America, a hawk dropped a decapitated squirrel onto the sidewalk as I approached.


Man, it was gross.



In other news, classes are thus far decent, if a bit stressful considering the crap tons of (small, novel-like) books I have to buy and begin reading. And also I emailed Lauren at her dbzco.com email address last week, asking about job specifics, and I have yet to hear from her. Do you think it got stuck in her spam filter and deleted?


I wish it would snow, darnit!


xxxAnnie

Jumping Like A Small Child

oh my lord it's snowing! Just a second ago I saw a little white flurry out of the corner of my eye and now it's coming down in droves... as a girl from the deep south, where two flurries are cause for celebration (and school dismissal) I am still greatly excited by this. Picture me scrambling out of my office chair to press my nose against the glass and stare into the white sky- ahem, very unprofessional, but hell who cares- the first snowfall of the year is delicious.

xoxoxoBon

Clueless, but there for you!

Disenchanted: the word of the week. Or year! It's only January, after all.

The weight of everything I don't know is absolutely killing me. Everyday I realize more and more how clueless I am, on design, on career, on people, on life.

On another note, I did quit my job, am in search of greener pastures, and will probably meet my death (or my new cardboard home) through this whole t- shirt making gig, but at least I have done something different. That doesn't involve cubicles.

And I've never been more terrified.

Luckily, it's people like Krista who keep me grounded and remind me that I am being a total drama queen and my career/life is not down the toilet. And, she writes me cute Myspace comment poems like this one:

She'll be a free woman real soon
Quit her job, now she's over the moon
Silk screening t shirts and undies
(And she nannies on Mondays)
I'm so glad she lives in the next room!

So, I guess my point is this: when you think your life totally sucks (I myself ricochet daily between being excited to work in my sweatpants and freaking out about healthcare) and/or you are terrified (by whatever), just remember
-a flair for the dramatic runs in the family
-life is full of disappointment, sometimes constant disappointment (for a little while), but when it gets to be too much,
-you have lots of people who love you and will listen to you rant or weep, depending, and will most likely make you laugh in the end.

And I'm one of them- that goes for both of you!

xoxoxoBon

Reflections from a disenchanted non-teenager

All this trouble with Lisa has made me very grateful that I'm out of that house. I wish I could get her out too, of course. But this is life; this is high school; we all have to get through it.

I'm not sure where Mom and Dad find their reasoning for the things they sometimes do...I could just chalk it up to them being old-fashioned their ways and unable to see how much damage their actions do, but I think that would be giving them too little credit. I'd like to think they have some sort of "good" reasons for stuff, even if they're only good to themselves.

I couldn't believe how shocked Mom was when she found out that Lee and I went out drinking with you at UNC-G. What did she think we were doing? She can disapprove all she wants, but at least we were with our sister, and not some random dude or someone else's sibling or something. She should be glad we were doing it at a college and not in some high schooler's basement. She should be glad of a lot of things, including the fact that Lisa, aside from some evasive comments regarding NTM (and who can blame her for those?), has actually told them the truth. Geez. If they make it that hard to bring someone home, they shouldn't get mad at her for failing to do so. If they distrust her so easily, they have no one to blame but themselves when she doesn't talk to them.

And let's not even get into the fact that they are all about promoting "family unity" and they want all us kids to stick together and all that crap, and then they go behind our backs asking each of us about the others, trying to glean some information to use against us. Yeah, tattletale siblings are really loyal to each other.

Sigh. I'm sorry for the rant. I hate seeing Lisa that miserable, and I hate the fact that Mom and Dad aren't even giving her a chance to explain herself. But then, they never really gave the rest of us that either. I think it's fine if they are strict -- that is probably for the best, ultimately. But they are strict while cutting the lines of communication, and that is a recipe for disaster, which is basically what is happening right now. Sure, Lisa screwed up, but they haven't done anything terribly stellar to teach her a lesson either.

Grr. I hope your Monday is going well. Have you turned in your two weeks' yet? Good luck, Bon Bon.

xxxAnnie

ps please email me a shipping address for you? Thankee.

A very bad start to the year.

As I see it, the biggest problem with living in New York City is that you have nowhere to cry. On an astronomically bad day anywhere else, you can hunker down in your car or find a deserted restroom or sidewalk somewhere and just cry your sad little heart out. Here, there are no cars (you shouldn't have to pay cab fare to cry) and certainly no deserted sidewalks or restrooms.... anywhere.

So, when you're told you might possibly have something that could turn into cancer, your credit card is declined, and you're about to get canned from your job, you are pretty much screwed (well, that was obvious) and shit outta luck when it comes to trying to release the anger, sadness, and disappointment that is life.

When life seems impossible in NYC (and it often does), where can a girl turn?

I won't bore you with the details of how pathetic, depressing, and unprofessional today's string of events have been- I just wish that there was someplace, somewhere, in this city that I could get one second of wailing out. If you're a napper, you can purchase siesta time in a pod in midtown, if you're stressed you can have a massage, if you're lazy you can have your hair professionally blown dry anytime you want. NYC has everything except privacy, but I think it's high time we got somewhere to cry, other than behind one's sunglasses on a crowded subway train.

I am going to go home and drink a bottle of wine, research health insurance, and hope that tomorrow I can get through the day without hiding out in the last bathroom stall, trying to sniffle silently. Keep your fingers crossed (and a little prayer wouldn't hurt either).

xoxoxoxoBon

New Year's 2007: Wheeee!

As I have been remiss in writing to you, I feel compelled to give you plenty of good dirt as a peace offering. Let's review the highlights of New Year's 2007, shall we?

10- The hott backless Miss Sixty dress I was sheathed in (ooh la la!)
9- The astounding amount of pizza & pizza-related food items Ben & I devoured at 5 am
8- The mysterious candy corn that accompanied the massive amounts of alcohol and snack items in Peter's apartment
7- Seeing Carrie giggly and making out with hot scarf guy
6- Hearing Carrie's story of going to Brooklyn with hot scarf guy
5- Having a mighty fine view of New York City via a fire escape on Broadway
4- Not dying when I fell through the window getting on or off said fire escape... I can't seem to remember which....
3- Making out with Neil the Canadian Lawyer who went to Harvard (which Lauren agrees makes up for the fact that he's Canadian)
2- Ben photographing me making out with Neil the Canadian Lawyer
1- Being with most of my favorite people when the ball dropped and it became 2007- THE BEST YEAR EVER! (I can feel it)

How was yours? I think we are going to have the absolute best year, especially when you come to live with me next summer... I can't wait for everything!

xoxoxoBon